Dream or a nightmare?
by HoldingoutforaHero96
Summary: Lena has a horrible past. And she can't get away from it? Or can she? And if she can would she take his help. Will everything work out? is it a dream or a nightmare?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everybody**

**this is my first fanfic on: ****_finding sky_**

**please let me know what you think :D**

**please review!**

**I do not own finding sky**

**Lena's pov**

I always get judged.

Nobody really get's to know me.

I'm just the filthy prostitute.

They all think I'm doing this because I want to.

Because it's so great to sleep with different old men every day.

Well it's not.

It's horrible.

I'm not doing this for fun.

I'm doing this because I have to.

I can't escape.

I wish my power was to have a solution for everything.

Instead all I got is I can see people's biggest fears and dreams.

That way I really get to know people.

That doesn't really help by my 'job'.

I know why these men are here.

Some have a hard life and they see this as a distraction.

Others just cheat on their wife

Because their wife won't put out, I have to.

I look over to Amber she's reading a magazine.

She just got back.

I want to know what's going around in her head.

How it's like to her.

She doesn't seem to care.

But I can't ask.

It's like an unwritten rule.

We don't ask each other about our work.

We pretend there's nothing going on.

We just talk about other stuff.

Amber is like me, she's only 21

I'm 20. I'm the youngest here.

I've been here for a little longer than 2 years.

When my dad brought me here.

you probably wonder why any dad would do that to his daughter.

Well it's because he needed money.

Money for all the alcohol he drinks.

I'm glad I finally could escape home but being here isn't really better…

My dad…

I can't say I miss him.

I miss the man he used to be…

Before..

My mom, his soul mate died.

He was so happy before that.

Finding your soul mate is special.

So I guess my mom made him that happy.

But because she was so special to him and because he loved her so much and they had a special connection. The blow was even harder.

So it made him react to it in horrible ways.

He started drinking.

Even had to be removed from the funeral because he was drunk.

He was drinking so much and didn't go to his work anymore.

So I had to take care of everything.

Making dinner, cleaning up and working so we had some money.

All of that plus my schoolwork.

It was a miracle I graduated that year.

I didn't go to college we didn't have the money.

My dad kept drinking.

And even started hitting me and abusing me.

It hurt me so bad.

But I had to keep being strong.

Otherwise there was no one who would take care of us.

After a while my job as a waitress didn't get us enough money anymore.

So my dad sold me out, like a piece of meat.

Like I was nothing to him.

Like I didn't mean anything.

I took care of him all that time

And he just sold me.

That's how I got here.

And that's why I can't get out.

Believe me I've tried.

My bruises confirm that.

I look over at Amber.

I wish she'd tell me her story.

How she got here.

'what are you reading?' I ask.

'Some story about a girl who found the love of her life while being on vacation in Turkey' She says.

'Do you believe that?'I ask

'What? The story? No they probably just made that up.' She answers.

'No, I mean. Do you believe there is somebody out there for you? Like true love or something?' I ask.

'Yes, I believe in true love. But I also believe it's really rare and that I'll never find it'

'Why not? You could get that lucky'

'Yeah, like I'll ever get out of here.' She says

'Good point.' I sight

'But if you're right and I get that lucky then I'll never let it slip away. Because I think once you found it. You can't live without it. It's irreplaceable ' she says

I think about my dad. That's why it's so hard on him.

'You're right. But doesn't that make you want to run away for it at the same time?' I ask.

'Maybe…but don't you think true love is worth the risk'

'No, I've seen the damage it can give. I had to live with that damage. True love is the reason I'm here. A true love that slipped away.'

She doesn't ask further. We don't ask about each other's story's. It would make it harder.

We already have a hard time dealing with our own story.

We can't pull the weight of someone else too.

I wish someday I will be strong

I will be strong enough to lift not only myself but also other people.

But for now I first need to learn to lift myself.

**I've had this stroy in my head for a long time and I'm plad I finally got to write it. **

**please let me know what you think!**

**please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone!**

**a new chapter**

**hope you all like it**

**please let me know what you think!**

**Lena's pov**

I've been staring at the sealing for like an hour.

I wish I could go outside and run, jump or walk.

It's horrible being inside all the time.

Carl the son of the owner walks up to me.

'You've requested by someone.' He says. 'I'll wait for you down the hall' He smiles at me.

He's about my age.

I've known him for a long time.

He was here for me when I first got here.

He held me when I couldn't stop crying.

He was like my best friend.

Yeey..work calls…I look around and take of my skinny jeans.

I don't feel comfortable in only lingerie so I put on a short black dress.

'Bye' I say to Amber.

'see you later' she says and continues reading.

I walk to Carl.

'Which room?' I ask.

'The 2nd'

'And the guy?'

'He's waiting for you at the bar.' Carl tells me.

I look at the bar.

There are 2 guys from at least 50 talking to each other.

There is one guy from about 30 who is busy staring at the dancers.

There's one more guy he's about 20 with really dark hair.

'Which one?'

'That guy' He points at the dark haired guy who's about 20.

'Okay, then I'd better get to work.' I say

'Bye, I'll save some food for you. See you' Carl says I smile and walk away.

I walk to this guy.

It seems like he feels I'm coming his way.

He turns to me when I'm like one foot away.

'Hi' I say

He looks at me approvingly. 'Hey, I'm Will'

I look confused I'm not used that people introduce themselves.

It's supposed to be just sex.

Nothing more.

They come here because this is easy.

He holds out his hands and smiles at me.

I grab his hand and try to drag him to the room.

I'd rather just get this over with.

But he's stronger than me so we don't move an inch.

I look over at him.

'I didn't catch you name' he says

'That's because I didn't say it.' I say

'So…what's your name?' He asks

I sight 'You've never done this before?' I ask.

'No, I haven't' He answers.

'I'm not used to give personal information. That's not really how it works. Most men who come here. because it doesn't matter who they are here. It's just sex nothing more. If you want more go out there and go find your true love.' I say frustrated.

'But I've already found my true love.'

'Great, then you'd better go be with her.'

'I want to but I'd first like to know her name.' he smiles

'Huh?' Is all I can say

'let's go to that room. We'll talk there.' He says.

Did he just tell me I'm his true love?

He grabs my hand and drags me to the room.

I finally really wake up from my thoughts .

I open the door.

We walk in, when we're in, I lock the door up.

'Explain' I say to him.

He seems to look for the right words

'Uhm..I don't know where to start. Do you know you're a savant?'

'Yes, I know' I say.

'Okay, my brothers soul mate didn't know'

Soul mate..did he just say soul mate.. 'What do you mean soul mate?'

'Maybe it's a bit fast. But you're my soul mate'

'O no this isn't happening, you're joking right?' he doesn't answer. 'Right?' I repeat.

'I'm not joking.' He says.

'OMG…O…Oh no…' I start hyperventilating.

He comes closer to me and holds me.

I push him away.

But I can't stop hyperventilating.

I think about my mom, my dad.

I start to cry and can't stop.

Then I collapsed.

…..

Then I wake up.

I feel I'm laying on a bed.

I go with my hand down my body.

Pff..I still have my clothes on.

'I wouldn't abuse you' Will smiles at me from the other side of the bed.

'What time is it?' I ask.

'It's 7, why do you ask.'

'Because I've been out for half an hour.'

'So what are you here for? Exactly' I ask

'I wanted to meet my soul mate. Didn't you dream of that?' He asks

'No' I say

'Why? Every savants want to'

'Do you know what a dream is?' I ask him

'A story you make up in your sleep..' he starts to explain

'No, well it is but to me a dream is a wish you heart makes.' My mom always told me that.

'Wow, that sounds beautiful. But doesn't every savants dream to meet their soul mate.'

'Maybe it's yours. But it's defiantly not mine.'

'Why not?'

'I don't want to tell someone I just met.'

'Fine, but tell me something about you.' He comes closer to me.

'Not such a good idea.' I try to change the subject 'How did you even find me?, I thought it was hard to find your soul mate..'

'Yeah, but we've got a lot of connections. My dad looked it all up and with help from my mom and brothers. I found 3 girls who could be my soul mate. And you're the third I'm meeting. If it isn't you then my soul mate is dead or somewhere without computers/telephones .' He explains to me

'So, You still can't be sure.'

'Okay then let's do a test' He smiles 'Just to be sure'

'Okay'

_Do I sound to you like any other savant? _He asks in my head.

He's right it feels different.

Like everything lights up.

It feels special.

It feels great.

'there' s the prove' He says

'Okay, I believe you now.'

'Your turn'

'Well if you looked me up. You probably know all about me already'

'I want to hear all from you, I don't know a thing.' He smiles

'Not even my name?' I ask.

'Maybe I know that' He smiles

I smile too 'Okay, I'm Lena van Dijk. I was born in Holland but raised here in America. I've been here for 2 years.'

'There must be more.'

'Of course there is. But this is going way to fast.'

'Maybe your right, we have our whole life to get to know each other'

' No we don't. what do you want after this. You have to leave. I have to stay. There's no whole life for us together' I say, and I don't want a whole life with him either.

'No way, you're coming with me' He tells me

**please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi!**

**hope you guys like it!**

**please let me know!**

**Lena's pov**

'Sorry, I think I'm hallucinating. What did you just say?' I ask

'You're getting out of here.' He says

'You can't get me out of here. Believe me, I've tried to get out of here. But they got me every time.' I lift up my dress and show him the big bruise on my leg. 'I'll never get out of here'

He lays his hand on my leg. 'Does it hurt?' He asks

I pull my leg away from him. 'It's fine.'

He pulls me next to him. 'No it's not. I won't let anyone hurt you.'

'Wish you'd been here 2 and a half year ago…' I sight

'Why's that?'

'Some things happened back then. Then I got here. But I don't want to talk about it. And we have to hurry. Because soon they're going to wonder where I am. It never takes this long.' I start to panic.

'Okay, relax. Breath. I'll be back tomorrow. Make sure you got all your stuff packed. We'll get you out of here. I promise.' He says.

I stand up and pull my dress back down. 'Don't make promises you can't keep.'

I walk to the door and unlock it.

He walks to me 'I always keep my promises. I'll have you out tomorrow.' He grabs my hand.

I don't say I thing.

I want to believe him.

But I don't want to get my hopes up.

And then being let down.

'Sure, I'll see you tomorrow'

I grab the door handle, He stops me and pulls me in for a hug. Then let's go and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

'See you tomorrow' He smiles and opens the door.

I still feel shocked. I walk through the halls real fast and then finally I'm back in my room.

Amber is still reading her magazine.

'Hey' I say

'Hi' she says without even looking up

'have you seen Carl?' I ask

'No, are you two finally hitting it off?'

'What do you mean?'

'O, come on like you don't know he likes you.'

'he doesn't I say.'

'How many times was he there for you. Holding you when you cried. Helping you escape. Making sure you're first time wasn't with some old guy.' She says 'I could keep going on. He likes you so much. I don't get why you don't see it.'

O my, I never realized it…

Let's hope it isn't true.

I can't add this to everything..

Everything I already have to deal with.

'I have to find him..' I say.

'You'd better and tell him I'm here if he needs someone.' Amber says

I run down the hall.

I see Carl in his room.

'Hey' I say.

'Hi' he smiles 'I saved some for you' He points at the food. I see some salad.

'Thanks, but I think we should talk.' I take a seat beside him.

He looks at me confused 'about what?'

I take a deep breath 'About Amber telling me that you like me'

'O that..' he looks away.

'Is is true?' I ask.

He looks back at me 'Ever since the first time you were here…you're amazing. How couldn't I like you. So pretty, so sweet, but so broken..That's why I helped you, especially in the beginning. Then we became friends. But I fell for you from the beginning.' He tells me.

I don't know what to say…

So he continues 'I get that you don't feel anything for me. I get that.' He looks so sad..

'It's not that I don't feel anything for you, but just not that way..I always saw you like my big brother. Who was always there for me. Watching me. I'm sorry.' I say

'It's okay. I didn't expect anything. As long as nothing changes. I love you no matter what. If it's as a girlfriend or as my sister.' He smiles.

'Nothing will ever change. I love you too.' I hug him. 'O, And Amber is single and into you.'

'I know, but she's not my type.' He says.

'Why she's really pretty'

'Yeah, she is. Just in a different way' He says.

'She's also nice. I think. I don't know her so good actually' I say.

'She's really nice.' He says.

'She isn't broken is the only difference I can think of'

He looks at me sadly 'She's broken too. But we've tried. Before you came here.'

'Really you were a couple?' I ask

'Yeah, it's unbelievable right. But it's true. It just didn't work.' He says.

'Were you with her like with me?' I ask

'No, you were really broken. And I liked you from the start. She was my first. But you felt like my first.' He smiles.

'I was glad you were my first.' I say. I give him a hug 'But now I have to go change.'

He looks at my tinny dress 'Why it looks good on you'

'I don't feel comfortable in it.' I say. I grab the salad and walk out the door. 'Bye'

'Bye'

I walk back to my room.

Amber got up and picks up an cardigan and puts it over her lingerie.

'You got a job?' I ask

'Yeah, what did Carl say.'

'That you're not his type. He told me you two dated before. Was he your first?' I say'

'No, but I rather don't talk about my first' she says with tears in her eyes.

I walk to her give her a hug. She pulls away 'Bye' she walks away.

I put the salad down the table and start packing.

I don't believe I'll get out of here tomorrow but I still have hope.

I can't give up that hope.

Not yet.

**thank you all for reading it!**

**please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Lena's pov**

I ate my salad and packed my bags.

I tried to sleep for a couple hours but I was too nervous.

I look at my bags.

I actually have a lot of clothes.

Most of them I can't wear here.

Half of them were from my mom.

But I fit them I have the same size now.

She had a great fashion sense.

I packed 2 big bags.

It's all I have here.

'Why have you packed?' Amber asks 'Another try at escaping?'

'No, that last time still hurts.' I say

'Then why?'

I can't tell her…she would think I'm crazy. I try to change the subject 'So how old was your client?'

'At least 60, now please tell me.' She tries again.

'You would think I'm crazy' I say

'I never would'

I try to find the right words 'Remember when we talked about true love?' I ask

'Yeah' she answers

'Well, I met my true love today. He found me and told me to get ready because he would get me out of here the next day. And now it is the next day.' I say really fast

She smiles 'I'm so happy for you. So what was he like?'

I smile thinking about him. 'Really cute, sweet and funny'

'But I'd thought you told me that you would run away. That you were scared. That you wouldn't take that risk.' She says

I shake my head. She's right..'I know..And I still don't think it would work out but I'll talk to him about that when he got me out of here.'

She looks at me disapproving.

'I know that's not a way to repay him. But I have to be honest to him. And my biggest dream is to get out of here right now.' I say.

'And what then? You don't have a life to go back to right?' She says.

'No, I don't' I say thinking about my dress. 'Do you?'

'Yes, I have someone to go back to'

I wait but she doesn't continue. She probably doesn't want to talk.

I want to know since the beginning I do.

'Amber, why don't we talk?' I ask

'We talk all the time' she says

'You know what I mean. Not about the real stuff. Not about the hard things. Just the easy things.'

'Because we both already have to worry about ourselves. You can't also have to think about me too.'

'What if I can?' I ask. Even know I know I can't carry her pain too. I just really want to know.

'Someday, you can. You're stronger than me. So much stronger and braver.' She smiles

'Are you never curious about my story?'

'Of course, But I know I can't lift you too. I could never handle it.' She smiles at me sadly.

I don't know what to say.

So I don't say a thing.

'POLICE! POLICE!' I hear someone shouting from the hall.

Amber and I run to the hall. We see Jeff the owner being handcuffed.

There's a guy with him with a black ponytail. 'You're under arrest'

I see Carl running down the hall. He tries to come to me and Amber.

But he's stopped by the guy with the ponytail.

'LENA!' someone shouts down the hall.

I see Will walking around.

Then he sees me and runs to me.

'I'd said I would get you out of here.' He smiles.

I just smile. Not sure what to say.

Luckily Amber saves me 'Hi I'm Amber' or maybe not so lucky 'you must be Lena's true love.'

'Yeah, I'm Will' He shakes her hand.

'Well, since I finally can get out of here I'd better start packing. I have someone to go too' Amber says.

'I'll help you' I say

Amber looks at me angry and mimes 'Stay with him'

I turn to Will and give him a hug 'Thank you so much, I'll be right back.'

I walk in after Amber 'Now you have to tell me'

'Have to tell you what?' Amber says

'Your story' I say.

She ignores me

'I know your biggest dream and fear and I think it has something to do with what happened.'

She looks up. 'What is my biggest dream then?'

'To find you true love' I say

'Biggest fear?' she asks

'To never find it, to lose it forever. Actually it is to give up hope.' I say.

She looks away again. I turn towards her. Tears are falling down her face.

'I loved him so much. I always hoped to find him again. But what if I can't. I can't live without him.' She really cries now.

I hug her. 'It will all be all right. Please tell me what happened. Maybe I can help?'

She looks into my eyes.

Her mascara is ruined. And her brown eyes look at me sadly.

She stops crying.

One tear still is falling down her cheek.

'Fine, I'll tell you my story. But please don't change the way you always saw me. You are my best friend. Even know we didn't really talk. You'll always be in my heart.' She sights 'I don't know where to begin…O no I do.'

**thanks for reading!**

**please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everyone!**

**hope you all like it!**

**please let me know what you think!**

**Lena's pov**

'4 years ago.

There was this beautiful, happy girl who was only 17 years.

She lived a fairytale life.

Together with her mom, dad and older sister.

She believed someday she would find her true love.

Just like she read in her favorite books.

Then one day there was this guy.

He was the most charming men I ever met.

We fell in love.

You would think now what is the problem.

Well this men was meant to marry my sister.

It broke her seeing him happy with me and not her.

When he asked my parents to marry me instead of my sister.

They were furious just like my sister.

They send him away, back to his country faraway from there.

I cried for days.

I couldn't believe what they did to me.

It broke my heart.

Then I got punished.

They send me away.

To my grandmother, who I really loved.

So that was good for me at first.

But then Jeff took me away there because my grandma couldn't pay his rent.

After that she got away from there but…no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get me back.

I told her to get away and to live a happy life and try to let me go.

It was best for her.

And best for me to not have too much hope.

All what happened made me into a different person.

I wasn't some helpless princess anymore.

I was a fighter.

It broke me, but in the end it made me stronger.

Now I finally can get out of here I want to get my true love back.

And to have my grandma at my wedding.' She ends her story.

I look at her 'Why would I see you different now? You never did anything wrong. You didn't hurt anybody.'

'I did, I hurt my sister and because of that I hurt my parents.' She says 'I..I wish things just were different back then…'

'You can't change the past, But you can choose your own future now.' I say and give her a hug.

She pulls me close and says 'Now I want to hear your story'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes'

'Okay, Uhm…let's think…O I know'

I sight deep and then start 'Once upon a time there was a sweet little girl. Who lived the happiest life. With her mom and dad who loved each other so much. Then her mom got sick and died.'

It feels better to tell it in the third person. 'Her dad loved her so much that he couldn't really live without her. So he started drinking and abusing the girl. The girl worked really hard to keep their lives spinning. She worked a job, did her schoolwork and took care of herself and her dad. She had to be the parent….Then there wasn't enough money anymore so her dad sold the girl. She was 17 and came here. She had to be a prostitute. She knew there was someone out there for her but she'd never want to meet him because all love ever did was burn and fall and end. And at the end all you had left from the love was pain and sadness. '

I didn't notice I was crying until a tear fell on my lap.

Amber hold me real close.

She'd pulled me in for a hug when she heard my mother died and didn't let go.

I push her away, softly.

'You'll find him and then I'll be at your wedding sitting next to your grandma.' I smile at her.

She smiles at me 'I have to pack now. Please talk to Will. And don't give up on true love too soon.'

'I really should go talk to him. Promise me we'll stay in touch'

'How?' she asks.

'I don't know…email?' I know I have an email account if I still know the password.

'I don't have one, yet.'

'Here I'll give you mine: ' I say

'Thanks, I'll email you' she smiles

'Then I guess this is goodbye.' I say.

'Not forever, we'll see each other again. I'm sure we will' She says

We hug each other.

'You were like my sister, the sister I never got. Who annoys me sometimes but who I love no matter what.' I say

'I love you You're more than a sister to me. Believe me sisters suck.' She smiles

I pack my bags and wave one last time to her.

Will is waiting outside.

'You ready?' he asks

'depends…' I say

'Depends on what?' he asks

'On where I'm ready for.' I say

'To come home with me.' He smiles

'Then no' I have to say honestly.

'No?' He asks confused.

'I think we should talk' I say.

**please don't forget to review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm sorry I took forever to update. **

**I hope you guys like it. **

**I'll try to update more soon!**

**please review!**

**Lena's pov**

'Okay, talk' he says angry

'I'm not sure I want to come home with you.' I say

'Why?' now he just seems sad. Which only makes it worse..

'Because I never got to decide where to go or what to do with my life. I never got that chance. And now I feel like I finally got that chance.' I say

'Than you can decide you come with me. Pretend like I never brought it up.' He says

I smile. 'You don't get it. You always got to make your own choices. I never had that chance.'

'Than make your own choice. Chose to be with me' He says desperately.

I don't know what to say…

'I need to think, okay?'

'Fine' He says seeing no other option. 'But then you gotta give me a chance to convince you.'

'Okay' I say not sure to what.

He sees the confusion. 'A date, tonight.'

'Just one date?' I ask that's all

'Well, I'm sure many will follow.' He smiles.

I smile back at him. He's so confident I wish I was like that. 'Where and what time?'

He looks at his watch. 'Uhm…It's 3 right now. How about 7?'

'You need that much time to get dressed?' I smile.

He smiles 'No, But I think you do.'

'Remember I'm prostitute I don't wear that much clothes.' I joke.

He seems not sure to smile or not but then he smiles 'Not anymore so you need way more time to pick out clothes then you used to.'

I smile again.

'But 7 was actually so I have enough time to create the perfect date. I'm going to need the perfect date if I want a lot more.'

'Okay, where?'

'I'll pick you up. Where you gonna go?' He asks.

'I'm not sure. I would go shopping but no money.' I always have seen these girls all dressing up in movies for their first big date. I wish I could do that. I could have that.

'I probably forgot to tell you.'

'Tell me what?'

'That you worked all these ours so you deserve to get paid.' He says.

'How much?' maybe even a 1000 dollars that would be amazing.

'Uhm..about 456.000 dollar.'

'What!?' I scream then I smile and start jumping around like some freak.

'Yeah, sleeping with bored house man pays good.' He tries to joke.

There goes my happy bubble 'Thanks Will, real nice. I didn't do this because I wanted to' I sees he realizes his joke went too far. 'I'm going shopping I'll see you tonight.'

I walk away when I realize I need the money first.

I turn back around.

'Where's my money?' I know I sound like a real bitch but I'm still mad.

'I'm sorry about the joke. I got you a bank pass.' He reaches for it in his pocket. 'Here' He hands it over to me.

I look can't stop looking at it. I never had this much money. I think I never had more than 200 dollars.

I know I need to save for my future but right now I need to really like my life because I couldn't for a long time.

'Don't spend it all.' He smiles.

'I won't' I grab my bags and start running I want to leave this place right now. I hated this place and finally leaving it is the best thing that could ever happen.

I walk in the light of the sun.

I see all this people walking around for now I don't care most of it are police.

Nothing can get me down right now.

I walk to a busy street with a lot of shops.

I walk into the first shop I see and I take like 13 dresses to the dressing room.

I feel amazing.

I can finally live my dream for a bit.

I can get the perfect dress and probably the perfect date.

**Don't forget to review!**

**I could really use your feedback and I love to read reviews. **

**I'll try to update soon.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Heey guys!**

**Time for a new chapter!**

**Hope you all like it!**

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**Lena's pov**

I've been shopping for hours.

It was amazing.

I just wish I wasn't alone.

I feel alone all the time.

I miss a best friend.

My mother.

My grandmother.

I just need someone to be there for me.

Someone who loves me more than anything.

Someone to laugh with and to cry with.

Someone who will always be there.

I shake the thoughts away.

I'm alone.

I'm for a long time.

I can deal with it.

I'm strong.

I can come trough anything.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

It's good I've been through so much.

It' s almost seven time to change.

I stand up from the stone wall where I was sitting on.

I grab all my bags and walk to a restaurant.

I walk to the toilet.

I look in all the bags.

Now I have to pick a dress.

The blue one? No not good enough.

The green one? Goes great with my eyes.

Or red? Red is brave, red makes me stand out.

Red it is.

I put the dress on.

It's a halter dress with a open back.

It's short dress but not too short.

It's sexy but not too much.

Time for make-up.

I put on a little bit of lip gloss.

And then mascara.

It's not much but it's enough.

Then I get a pair of black high heels.

I look in the mirror.

I look pretty.

But I still don't feel pretty.

I never really felt pretty.

Of course I had sex with many men and then always told me how beautiful I was.

I never believed them.

I didn't thought they were lying.

It's just that I didn't really see it.

I think I'm just not the kind of girl that feels pretty.

I look at my new phone.

Time to go.

I walk outside the restaurant.

Will's not here yet.

I walk to a little wall and sit down.

The sun shines.

I close my eyes and I lose myself in a memory.

_I was five me and my mom and dad were going for a picnic. _

_We went to the wood. _

_My dad carried a big bag full of food. _

_He told me and my mom he knew the perfect place for a picnic so we followed him. _

_Then we heard someone falling into the water. _

_My dad tried to walk over a really small bridge and then fell in then water with all our food._

_I didn't know what to do then. _

_Laugh or cry. _

_But my mom decided for me. _

_She jumped in the water, So I followed. _

_We did have a picnic but we had a great afternoon together. _

I don't know to smile or cry.

Just like in my memory.

I miss my mom but the memory's are really happy.

So I do both there's a big smile on my face but tears falling from my eyes.

I wipe the tears away.

And close my eyes again.

Just trying to enjoy the sun.

Then there suddenly falls a shadow over me.

I open my eyes and there's Will.

'Sorry, I'm late.' He says.

'It's fine.'

'You look so beautiful.' He smiles.

'You almost sound surprised.' I say.

'O I didn't mean it like that.'

He bends a little and looks me right in the eyes. 'You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.'

I can see he means it.

I can see it in his eyes.

I finally feel pretty.

I don't get it.

I heard things like this hundred times how come Will has to only say it once to make me believe it.

'That's because I'm your soul mate, you're true love.' He says.

I look at him irritated.

He could see what I thought.

I let my shield back up and make it as strong as possible.

I don't want people so really see me.

That scares me.

If someone really knows you, That means he really knows how to hurt you.

I can't let that happen.

So no one can see me for 100%.

An ice mountain only shows 10%.

I try to be like an ice mountain.

Leaving my weaknesses and personal things under water.

Where no one can see them.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry it's been so long. **

**I had finals and hope I gratuade this week. **

**But I finally found the time. **

**So here it is, I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. **

He looked away from a moment not sure what to do.

I shook away my thoughts. I promised him I'd try so I stand up and smile at him.

'Ready?' He hands me his hand.

I doubt for a second to grab it, but Will doesn't have that much patience so he just grabs it and smiles at me. I'm surprised the moment he grabs my hand it feels like the pain and sadness just flows away. I feel warmth and happiness. It's weird but in a good way.

He sees I'm looking at our hands 'I felt it too.'

I look at him irritated again knowing what I thought.

'I didn't know, but it wasn't hard to guess.'

'Okay, fine I'll try to be nice.' I say looking at him. 'So what are we going to do?'

'I wouldn't wanna ruin the surprise' he smiles at me.

I sighed. I hate surprises. I want to have control. I want to know what is going to happen next.

'Please' I give him the sweetest smile.

'No, nice try but I like to much being in control.' He squeezes my hand.

We walk for a while in silence then he speaks again 'Where almost here.'

Yes finally I think

'So now I'm going to blindfold you.' He lets go of my hand.

'You're going to do what?' I ask surprised hoping I heard it wrong.

He smiles. 'You heard me.' In his hands he has a black shawl and he walks toward me.

'No way.' I say and step back.

'You promised me one date. My way. This is my way.' His smile gets even bigger.

I stand there defeated while he blindfolds me when I realize what he just said 'So you did this with a lot of girls.' I ask hurt. I thought I was special. Well, not special but at least special to him.

'No, this is the first time.' He tried to guide me through the streets but after I almost fell for the fourth time he told me he had an better I idea. I wanted to ask what but before he gave me a chance her lifted me up and held me in his arms.

'Wow, you're a lightweight.' Was all he said before he started walking again.

'Please, put me down. I can walk just fine.' I say. I hated when people took care of me. I didn't need them I learned to take care of myself the second my mom died. I don't need people. I'm just fine on my own.

'No way, you can't walk just fine you fell.'

'I didn't fell. I almost fell.' I try to bring in.

'You would have fallen if I wouldn't have catched you and besides I like caring you.'

'I don't need other people to carry me.'

'Everyone needs to be carried once in a while. You can't go through life alone.'

'You can if you're being forced to go through it alone.'

I can feel the way he's looking at me. He's looking at me like I'm some pathetic little sad bunny.

I hate it when people do that. I don't want their pity. I got enough pity from people for a life time while I'm still at the beginning of my life.

'don't look at me like that' I say.

'How do you know how I'm looking at you? You're wearing a blindfold.'

'I can feel it. I've had people look at me that way for too many times.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Please, don't be. I get it. That doesn't mean I like it. I just wish people see me for who I am now. Not what happened to me in the past. Of course I had a horrible life so far in some ways but an amazing life in others.' I think about the memory's of my mother.

'Amazing?! Okay, you sure know how to surprise me. Your mom died. Your dad sold you out. You had to be a prostitute for years. How's that amazing!?' He screams out almost letting me fall.

I feel the tears in my eyes. 'I know all that. But before my mom died I had the perfect life. Don't you dare judge me. Don't you dare judge my life. Let me experience life the way I want to! I know you for like how long? A day? And you have the guts to tell me what my life is like! I know what it's been like but don't you get that it wasn't all bad. Don't you get that I like to think about the good things instead of the bad!' While saying this I finally got him to let me go and I was standing on my own again. I was shouting the words out. They hurt. Remebering me that he was right and 90% of my life had sucked. So in the end my voice broke and I felt the tears. I tried to stop them but I couldn't.

I stepped away from him and tried to get the blindfold of my head.

He grabs my hand. 'don't, please don't.'

I want to tell him I don't care what he thinks about me trying to get off the blindfold, But before I say that I realize he isn't taking about that he's talking about the fact that I'm crying and pulls me in for a hug.

I push him away and try to crack a smile. 'So don't we have some amazing date to go to?'

I hear him laugh. 'Yes, but I already thought we were having an amazing date.'

I laugh too. 'Really? Your idea for a good date is fighting with each other and me crying.'

'No, it's spending time with my soulmate. Carring her. Holding her close. That means more to me than at what fancy dinner we eat and what kind of clothes you wear. I don't care how or were when I'm with you it's the most amazing date anyway.' He says.

**Please don't forget to leave a review. **

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	9. Chapter 9

**Heey, **

**Here's a new chapter. **

**Hope you all like it!**

**Please let me know what you think!**

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'Stop.' I say.

'Stop what?' He asks.

'Being so sweet. So perfect. Nothing stays like that.'

He grabs the blindfold and gets it off my head. 'Look at me.' I look away.

So her grabs me head with his hands.

'You have to let it go.' He says.

'Let what go?' I pull away.

'The anger. The disappointment. The sadness.'

'I can't, it's a part of me. It's what I've seen. It's what I believe.'

'Then get new believes. Believe in love.'

'This isn't love and if it is am even more scared then I already was.'

He looks away thinking what to say next. 'Okay, then for now I'll let this go. But I can't help that you bring out the hopeless romantic in me.'

I smile at him. 'Well, then let's finally go to our date because I love to see how romantic you really are.'

He smiles back and grabs my hand. We walk for a while when we come close to a river.

I see this big boat full of lights and roses.

He smiles at me 'Good thing I picked the red ones, they match your dress. With is hot by the way. In case I forgot to mention.'

I feel my cheeks are burning red.

He laughs 'And now they also match you cheeks.'

I slap him on the arm. He pretends is really hurts. We keep walking.

We are at the boat and there is only a really small kind of bridge.

'No way I'm walking over that.' I point at the bridge.

'Okay.' He just says and smiles.

'So what do we do now?' We can't get on the boat because I won't walk over that really small piece of wood. I ruined the whole date like this.

'This.' He throws me over his shoulder (while I'm screaming 'Put me down! Put me down!')and walks over the plank and sets me on the boat.

I look at him angry but he just smiles.

My angry face fades when I look around and see the roses and the cute little table all set up.

He smiles at me 'So how romantic am I?'

I look around 'Well, the boat is nice and so are the roses and the lights, but you did just throw me over your shoulder and made fun of me so right now I'm not sure.' I smile at him.

He looks at me fake disappointed. 'So that's what I did all this for. next time I'll just order a pizza.'

I laugh. 'You did this so there'd be a next time. If you just order pizza I'm not sure there'll be a third date.'

'But we are already talking about a second date.' He asks hopefully.

'Let just go through the first date first.' I try to not get his hopes up.

'Okay, then let's eat.'

I sit down at the cute little table.

He walks to the other side of the boat and comes back with two plates with a chicken salad with dressing and mango in it.

'The first course.' He says.

'First? How many do you have?' I ask concerned.

'Four.'

Ooh….this is so sweet but I never really got much to eat. We needed to be skinny. That's how people see beauty these days. I want to tell him but I don't want to ruin this date he planned. He put so much work into it.

'Is something wrong?' He asks.

Truth or just try to get through this.

'No, but I'm not sure if I can eat that much.' I smile. Something in between.

He walks to the table and puts the plates down and then sits down himself.

'O, I'm sure you can. Let's eat!' He starts.

'Do you mind if I pray first?' When I was little and people told me God was like my father, I thought my father was God. Now I know better my father won't get me through a rough time, but God would always be there for me once I need him.

'Of course, I didn't know you believed in God.'

'I did since I was a little girl.' I fold my hands together and close my eyes. Father, please bless this dinner and please help me make good choices. Please, always be with me to help me.

I open my eyes. Will looks at me fascinated.

'What?' I ask.

'O sorry, I just was a little bit curious so I was waiting for you to say your pray out loud.'

'O, okay.' I start eating.

He keeps looking at me. 'Why do you believe?'

'Because that's the way I grew up. My mom learned me to believe. We went to church.'

'But why did you keep believing?'

'Because…uhm…well…' I think for a moment about how to explain this. 'Because it makes life better.'

'I don't understand.'

'When you die what do you think there is? What happens to you then?'

'Nothing, I think it's just like being asleep and never waking up.'

'Don't you think that sounds horrible?'

'Yeah, I guess.'

'Well, when I die I believe that I'll go to heaven. I'll see my mom again. Believing that makes life easier because I don't have to be afraid of death, because it will be like life only in some ways better.'

'Yeah, I guess your right on that point. But then if there is a God why is there so much misery.'

'Because there is no light without dark. If you blame God for the bad stuff happening to you then you should also thank God for all the good. God doesn't control our choices he can only help us make the right ones but in the end we decide what we do and with that we let the dark in the light God gives us.'

He is silent for a moment. 'But how can you hold on to your believes with all that's happened to you.'

I smile at him. 'Like a character in one of my favorite books said. "It's because it's the only thing I have left."

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